Laziness Is A Figment Of My Imagination

Saturday!  A chance to sleep in a little later, and be more relaxed.  As a kid, it was my favourite morning – all the best cartoons were on and we got to eat our cereal in front of the TV!

However, I feel as though except for Tuesday, it’s been a lazy week for me. Sure, I’ve had some excitement, the new KitchenAid mixer I bought was delivered, and of course, there’s the infamous knife incident, but on the whole, I’ve felt pretty lazy this week.

Here’s the interesting thing though.  When I first woke up this morning, I thought that by my laziness this week, I wouldn’t see movement on the scale, and if I did, it would be upwards.   But, I stopped and realized that except for the tootsie rolls I ate to cheer myself up after cutting my finger, I had still made good choices this week and stayed within my calorie goals.  And my laziness?  Well, I thought I had been lazy by not going to the fitness club, but I had cleaned my house, and had still walked to work.  You see, there are those old negative thinking points trying to sabotage me again.  “If you don’t complete what you set out to do, you’re just being lazy” I’ll always love you mom and dad, but those words aren’t going to shape my life anymore. I may not be perfect, but I’m certainly NOT lazy.

While I’m trying not to let the scale influence my journey, it WAS exciting this morning to see it go down 1.6 lbs!   🙂

 

 

 

 

And lazy was probably the last word I would have used on Tuesday with my personal trainer Deb Taylor!

Do you have negative thinking points that can sabotage you?  How do you erase them?

Have a great weekend everyone!

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Easily Distracted

An idle brain is the devil’s workshop

Yup.  Distracted.  For two whole days.

Why?   The dubya dubya dubya dot.  (The internet)

Source of great information, but also a source of lots of time lost.

Result?  Well, one good result is I found a lot of really inspiring and interesting blogs – other people who taking the same journey as I am, and other blogs that are just plain fun and funny.

Bad results?  – no workout Sunday or Monday, no laundry done, no dishwasher run, in short, my house right now is in C.H.A.O.S. (Can’t have anyone over syndrome – thanks to the FlyLady for this one!)

So, what I am going to do about it?  Well, Google reader has now become my best friend.  When I find a new blog that I think I would like to read, I’m adding it to the reader, and will read the new posts in my downtime.

One enjoyable distraction yesterday was my lunch meeting with James Erdt. I met James when I signed up at my fitness club.  James is the Personal Training Director there. Have you ever met someone and within minutes of speaking with each other, felt a bond, a connection?  That’s what happened when James and I first spoke. James and I started speaking about my experiences working as a personal assistant to one of the teachers from The Secret, and he told me that his life’s goal is to motivate others, especially youth.   Check out his website  JoyZone.  We both thought that we should meet sometime to discuss how we could work together because he has so many wonderful ideas and projects that he’s working on.

During our lunch, James asked me about my blogging.   I told him that I was really excited that I was getting a lot of people reading it and commenting. He asked me why I was so caught up in how many people visited my blog. That made me think. I’m blogging as part of my accountability in my healthy lifestyle journey, and when I started, I thought that only my friends and family would read it.  Funny thing is, none of my family or close friends are reading it.  Well, I know one friend is, (thank you Margaret). I also know that James read it last night, but if the others are, they’re not saying. That’s okay though, they’re seeing my journey IRL (in real life)

I suppose I shouldn’t really analyze the stats information on my blog, but I guess it’s part of my competitive nature. Friends and family who ARE reading this right now, you can stop laughing.  Please.  I suppose it’s also part of my business and social media background, that checks to see how people are finding my blog.

I want to say THANK YOU! for reading my blog.  Because you’ve visited, I’ve been blessed by your encouragement and support, and humbled by those of you who are sharing your journeys and stories with me as well.  And when it’s all said and done, friends – old and new, virtual or in real life, are the best distraction of all.

When you have time, please check out Scale Junkie She is hosting a weight loss blog hop today.

What Motivates You?

People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.” -Zig Ziglar

I’ve always thought that motivation came from being challenged. Some of the best work that I’ve done was because of this – when I was challenged to do something that someone else didn’t think I could do.  I believed that motivation from an external source was what got me going, because I didn’t feel that I could motivate myself enough to get things done.  Many things in my life have come easily to me – school, athletics, etc.,  but I never really excelled completely if I wasn’t challenged.

I used to joke that my best work was done the night before something was due. However, my parents thought differently. They used to tell me I was just lazy. Don’t get me wrong, my parents loved me and were extremely proud of me, but because I was so good at things, when I didn’t do them as well as they thought I could or should, they said it was because I had been lazy and hadn’t tried hard enough.  I wonder where my perfectionism came from, huh? 9 years ago, just after I had moved into my dream home, my brother told me that things had always come too easily to me and that it made me lazy, and when I eventually would be faced with something tough, that I wouldn’t know how to cope.  He said he was trying to help prepare me by telling me this. (As I write this, I’m amazed that those words still have the power to hurt me and make me cry)

Then, five years ago, my life wasn’t so easy anymore.  The challenge that my brother so lovingly wished for warned me about, happened.  My world fell apart.  A failed relationship, a lost job, and the death of my father.  All in the space of 3 months.

I’ve had people who told me that they wouldn’t have been able to cope with what I went through.  But what was I supposed to do?  I had 2 children, and bills to pay.  Sure, I could have curled up into the fetal position, and just wished for the world and all of my problems to go away.  But I didn’t.

Those people who told me that they wouldn’t have been able to cope?  I told them, that like the mother that lifts the car off of her child, you don’t realize what you can do until you are forced to.

Was it internal or external motivation, fear or just a need to survive?  I really don’t know, but in the end it didn’t matter.  I got through it, and I came out the other side a stronger person.

Since then, I have been told that I motivated or inspired people with what I did.  Me?  A motivator?  I didn’t believe I could even motivate myself!  I believed what I had been told in the past – that I was lazy.

I often joke with friends that I would be bored if I didn’t have drama in my life.  Fortunately the drama has subsided (thank god for that!), but I lately I have felt as though I was getting bored.   I realized that for the first time in a long time, I hadn’t been challenged, either by external forces or by myself.

So, I made a pact with myself to challenge myself in many ways before I turn 50 next year.

My healthy life choice is one of those challenges.

Am I motivated?  You bet, but I need to make sure I am motivated everyday.

PS – the picture above?  That’s me attempting my first challenge – overcoming a fear of heights.  It may not look that high, but I was at least 20 feet off of the ground.  If you’re in or going to be visiting the Southern Ontario or Quebec area, check out Arbraska Tree Top Trekking.

Day 6 – Little Miss Instantaneous Gratification

Created by MyFitnessPal – Free Calorie Counter

Yes!  Although, I had to look twice at the scale this morning to confirm the number – 190.2 lbs!  I even got off and back on again to make sure.   Yet, I’m already looking ahead to next week, and what the scale will tell me then.  I know that 2 – 3 lbs a week is a safe, health weight loss, but I want more and sooner!

You see, I’m not a very patient person.  In fact, I’m very much like a small child when it comes to wanting things.  I want it to happen, and I want it to happen NOW!  (insert sound of stomping feet)  Many times I will begin something, only to find myself looking forward to it ending.  Now when you’re doing something that you don’t want to do, you’re not missing out on anything by wishing it to go by quickly; however, sometimes I find myself doing this when I’m starting a fun project.  If I can’t see myself finishing it perfectly, I will stop doing it.  Why do I do this?  I’m not sure if it has to do with my habit of procrastination, or my quest for perfection.  Do I wish for things to be finished, so that I know I haven’t put them off and that I’ve actually completed them?

Oh, there are many things I’m successful at doing – I only have to look at my two beautiful, intelligent, responsible, grounded, loving, accomplished children, to know that I am a good mother and that I guided them through the rough patches; and yet, I know that there are many things that I’ve started with great intentions but have given up on them before they were finished.

I truly suffer from the the 3 P’s – Perfectionism, Procrastination and Paralysis. I worry that I may have passed this trait on to my son and daughter.

I need to realize that Perfectionism is a matter of fantasy, not reality.

In the journey that I’ve undertaken, I have to am going to let go of my past expectations of myself, and I need to am going to give myself permission to not be perfect.  And to give myself permission to fail, without beating myself up about it.  I am going to accept that when I do something to the best of my ability, it is good enough!  I will also help my children learn these things too!

Instead of looking back at what I haven’t done, I’m going to look forward to what I AM GOING TO DO.  I am going to plan to succeed, and embrace and celebrate my accomplishments, and not worry about whether I have done them perfectly enough.

This weekend I will be creating a vision board/goal board, and I will break down my goals into manageable bites, and celebrate the accomplishments.  And if I don’t meet a goal?   I’m going to treat it as a learning opportunity, not as a failure.

Food diary for Day 6

Breakfast –  1 cup of Special K with red berries, and 1/2 cup of 1% milk.

Snack – orange

Lunch – crab cakes (recipe below) with 8 oz vegetables

Snack – 1 cup raspberries

Dinner – grilled chicken breast, 8 oz of vegetables

Snack – fat free jello

Workout diary for Day 6

The plan for tonight was to go ice skating with friends for an hour and a half, but unfortunately a hockey tournament cancelled the recreational skate 😦   I went out and had a 30 minute walk instead!  Disappointed, but worked around it instead of not doing anything.

CRAB CAKES

2 oz chopped green onions

1 tbsp KRAFT Miracle Whip Ultra Low Fat

2 tbsp chopped parsley, dill & celery

1 tsp grated lemon rind

1 tsp mustard

1 tsp Hot Sauce/Tabasco sauce or to taste

1/4 tsp salt & pepper

3 1/2 oz crab meat fresh or thawed

1 egg white

2 Grissol Melba Toast Crumbs

1. Preheat oven to 400 F.
2. In a bowl mix onions, miracle whip, parsley, dill, celery, lemon rind, mustard, hot sauce, egg white & salt & pepper.
3. Add 1 1/2 Melba crumbs & crab meat to mixture.
4. Mix all ingredients lightly until it binds, shape into small patties.
5. Place remaining melba crumbs on plate and coat each patty on both sides.
6. Spray rimmed baking sheet with PAM, or use parchment paper instead.
7. Bake for 15 min or until golden on both sides.
8. Enjoy!

Day 4 – Procrastination is Opportunity’s Assassin

Putting off an easy thing makes it hard.  Putting off a hard thing makes it impossible.  ~George Claude Lorimer

And that was how it went yesterday.

When I left my personal training session on Wednesday, my plan was to go back on Thursday to do weights again, so that I wouldn’t forget what Deb had showed me.  However, Thursday morning when I woke up, I was more tired than I had been when I went to bed the night before.

It took me forever to get going, and as I was feeling slightly sorry for myself, I never really got going.  I didn’t feel like doing anything at all, and that’s pretty much what I did.. nothing.  I checked my emails, I read the paper on line, I watched some TV, and I pretty much avoided any activity at all.  Until about 1 p.m., when I realized I needed to suck it up, and get ready to go to work for 3 p.m.

At the beginning of September, I stopped working full time outside of the house. A month later, after I had completely de-cluttered, organized, and spring/fall cleaned my home, I realized I needed to start doing something to fill my time, so I got a little part time job at the local dry cleaners. I work 3 evenings a week from 3 pm – 8 pm, handing out the clean clothes, and taking in the dirty ones to send to the plant.  It’s not overly busy, and gives me time to read, or knit.  Totally stress free.   I also like it because it gives me a little extra money, and the time to plan what I want to do when I finally grow up.

Working evenings is a completely different schedule than I’ve been used to.   It shouldn’t be hard to get used to, as long as I get into a routine, but procrastination is my worst enemy, and so the routine has not been even thought about, let alone set.

I ate breakfast when I got up, but at 1 p.m. I realized that I hadn’t eaten lunch. Not good.  I also hadn’t had the water I should have had as well, and I realized that I was likely fatigued because I was becoming dehydrated.  Did you know that?  I thought I knew about fluid replenishment, etc., but hadn’t made the connection with dehydration and fatigue.  I haven’t been a big water drinker lately, but I always drank loads of tea.  Since I’ve cut back to one cup of tea a day, I have to really concentrate on getting fluids other ways, and yesterday I didn’t do that.

Ever seen those time lapse pictures where a plant is drooping, and then someone waters them and they perk right up?  That’s how I felt when I drank two glasses of water.  I could literally feel the water going into my body, and replenishing me.   Sad, really, that I was ignoring something so simple and important!

I ate my lunch, and then put together a quick, although not very exciting, dinner to take with me to work.  I really didn’t want to come home at 8 pm, and then make something to eat.   Good thing, because when I got home, I was so tired, that I ended up going to bed around 9 p.m.  My body obviously needed the rest, and I slept right through until 6:30 this morning.

After my day of procrastination yesterday, I am not going to allow my mind to do that to me again!

Food diary for Day 4

Breakfast –  Dempster’s Body Wise English muffin with egg and low fat cheese

Snack – banana

Lunch – 1/2 whole wheat Body Wise Tortilla spread with 1 tsp of Philly herb cream cheese, tuna with 1 tsp low fat miracle whip, diced celery and dill; 8 oz vegetables

Snack – 1 cup raspberries (they’re on sale at present, and huge!

Dinner – 3 hard boiled egg whites, 8 oz vegetables, 1/2 cup raspberries and apple

Snack – fat free jello

Workout diary for Day 4

nothing, not even a walk.  😦